


Empty Hell

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas's True Form(s), Hell, M/M, S5 Coda/AU, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 02:01:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7958029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam jumped into the pit to save the world.  He took Adam with him, because he couldn't think of anything else to do in the half-second he had to think.  They were both going to be stuck in Lucifer's cage.</p>
<p>But Lucifer's cage is nothing like Lucifer had showed Sam.  It's more... boring as hell.  With nothing better to do, Sam prays to Cas.</p>
<p>Note: the major character death technically happens *before* the story and is canon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Empty Hell

Sam had tried not to think about the Cage. Lucifer, of course, had shoved memories into his head, but where Sam was now – nothing like that. In fact, the thing that stood out most to Sam was the emptiness. He had expected more… more… well, Sam didn’t know what he’d expected, fire or cold or acid, but _something_ more than just this void.

“Where are we?” The voice came from beside him and Sam turned. His half-brother stood there, looking very confused.

“I don’t know, Adam,” Sam said. “I’m sorry. You were never supposed to come with me, I was supposed to be alone. I jumped into Lucifer’s Cage to trap Lucifer back in there. This is nothing like what Lucifer showed me, though.” Sam stared at his feet. “I panicked when Michael came back, and did the only thing I could think of – I took the two of you with us.”

“Then we’re in Hell,” Adam said, color draining from his face. “All that happened, all we did, and you and I are in Hell.”

“Yeah,” Sam admitted. “It sucks, I know. I’m so sorry. But…”

“If this is Hell, where are the demons?” Adam asked.

“Good question. Where are the demons? Where’s the torment? Where are Michael and Lucifer? Why is the biggest problem we face an eternity of boredom?” He shrugged and sank to sitting on what, for lack of a better term, he decided to think of as the ground. “Well, it’s not like we seem to have anything better to do…” Sam folded his hands in his lap. “Castiel? I know this is probably pointless, but… I’m not wasting my time, exactly, so…”

“Who’s Castiel and why are you talking to him?” Adam interrupted.

Sam thought about how to answer this one for a few minutes. “He’s Dean’s best friend, and an angel. Not like Zachariah, one we trust. Actually, he’s the guy who found you after Zachariah brought you back from the dead and got you to us.” He shrugged somewhat sheepishly. “He’s also probably dead. I killed him. Well, Lucifer killed him, but while he was wearing me. After he called Michael an assbutt and threw the Molotov.”

Adam gave him an incredulous look. “So you’re talking to the dead angel because…”

“It’s hardly wasting my time,” Sam pointed out. “Look, I mean, Dean and I have both come back from the dead. YOU came back from the dead. Cas did twice, maybe he can do it one more time. Not much chance, but there is a small one. And then, this isn’t exactly Hell proper, and it’s probably not the Cage since Michael and Lucifer don’t seem to be here. Maybe, just maybe, prayer can slip through a crack or something from here. And Castiel may hate me, but he’ll come get us if he can. For Dean.” He gave a wry grin. “There’s not much of anything he wouldn’t do for Dean. So it’s a snowball’s chance of a snowball’s chance, but it’s not no chance, and if I’m praying to Castiel I’m at least doing something, you know?”

Adam scoffed. “Yeah, have fun praying to a dead douchebag who hates you in particular.”

Sam elected not to respond, but to focus on Castiel instead. “So, uh, Castiel, if you can hear me… I don’t know if it worked. I’m me again, Lucifer’s gone. Adam’s with me and not Michael anymore. But, uh… I’m hoping they’re in the Cage. We’re probably not. I know I’m taking a risk, I’ve gotta be Heaven’s Least Favorite at the moment, but it’s better than just sitting here, right? And of course, even if you did get to come back, there’s no guarantee you came back with your grace restored, so maybe you can’t come anyway. And you may love Dean enough to come for his sake, but I can’t imagine any other angel would, he’s only one or two steps above me on Heaven’s list. So, uh, even smaller chance than I thought. But hey, even if you can hear me but can’t come for me, at least you can tell Dean I’m okay, so there’s that.”

A rustle of wings interrupted Sam’s thoughts, so he took a moment to look around. “Adam?” His brother was nowhere to be found. “ADAM!”

“Your brother is safe. I took him to Bobby.” Sam’s heart leapt at the sound of the unmistakable graveled voice, and he turned to meet the blue eyes of the angel he’d never actually let himself hope to see. “Wherever did you get the idea that I wouldn’t come for you if it weren’t for Dean?”

“Well, uh, I kinda deserve to be here,” Sam said. “After everything I’ve done? I was gonna end up here anyway, we both know that. So if you got your grace back, why risk pissing off Heaven again to bust me out?”

Castiel subjected Sam to his most intense penetrating stare. “I told Lucifer he was not taking you when he had me trapped in holy fire. I told Anna that I would kill her if she came near you, because you are my friend. The only reason I hadn’t already assaulted the Cage to get you back is because you made Dean promise not to try. I assumed that went for me as well.” He paused, dropping his eyes in what Sam would almost call embarrassment if it weren’t Castiel. “I was about to try anyway when I heard your prayer and realized you weren’t there. Since freeing you from here actually lessens the risk of Lucifer being freed, I would assume you have no objection?” Sam nodded and waited for the sensation, but Castiel returned to staring. “Sam, there is something I would like to show you, while we’re here. It will, however, involve excruciating pain for you.”

“Well, we are in… actually, _are_ we in Hell?” Sam asked.

“Yes. Sort of. This is a layer of nothingness between Hell proper and Lucifer’s Cage,” Castiel explained. “The intent is for it to be completely empty – a buffer to keep any demons from finding a crack to use to plot with Lucifer to free him. So, yes, technically, Hell, but this is not a place of torment or punishment. I can only guess, but I believe there must be a barrier that prevents human bodies and souls from passing into the Cage. Lucifer and Michael continued when you and Adam were turned back, freeing the two of you but stranding you here.”

Sam had to admit, it made more sense than anything else he could think of. “Okay, well then. Go ahead and show me whatever it is you wanted to show me, I can deal with pain.” Sam braced himself, but it was still a shock when Castiel stuck his hand into the hunter’s chest. The shock was forgotten when Castiel pulled his hand out, holding a glowing orb that was connected to Sam by a gleaming thread.

At first, all Sam saw was brightness. He glanced quickly at Castiel, who was looking at the ball with awe. He studied it closer, noticing black streaks running throughout the light. He furrowed his brow as a sudden thought hit him. “Is… is that my soul, Cas?”

“It is,” Castiel said. “I thought you should see it, to help you understand.”

Sam sighed, somewhat puzzled. “I told you, Cas, I already know I belong… well, a step up, in Hell proper, anyway. Those streaks… those are the parts that have already started becoming demonic, right?”

Cas’s head tilted in confusion, but soon, understanding dawned on his face. “Yes. Your soul is streaked by the demon blood, and by Azazel. And yet… look how brightly you shine through that. Even you, attuned as you are to your own soul, failed to see the streaks until you began looking close. I was there for some of these streaks, some are even partly my responsibility, and I have to remind myself to look for them.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean, partly your responsibility?” Sam asked, trying to figure out how Castiel could possibly believe that.

“Anything you did between me freeing you from the panic room, when Dean tried to get you clean of the demon blood, and you releasing Lucifer can be blamed on me for releasing your locks,” Castiel said.

“That was you?” Sam asked, somewhat surprised. “Huh. Guess I should have realized it was an angel, and it was when they’d brainwashed you…”

“I’m so sorry, Sam,” Castiel said. “I knew it was wrong, and I can’t hide behind the claim of following orders. Is that why you believe I care less for you than I do about Dean? Because you think I rebelled for him, not you?”

“Well, yeah, that’s, uh… that’s part of it,” Sam said, utterly befuddled by the question. “Look, Cas, it’s fine, most people like Dean better. Dad did, Ellen did, Bobby does…”

“And were it true, I would let the matter go. I…” Castiel said. His words sounded chosen even more carefully than usual as he tried to explain. “Dean is the Righteous Man, the one I was to guide and protect and prepare to serve as Michael’s vessel – not that I knew about that last part when I was given the assignment. I’m not certain when I began to change my view of my job from being the guardian of Dean Winchester to being the guardian of the Winchesters. I do know that when I arrived in the storage room to rescue you from Zachariah, I was there as much for you as for Dean – not because to save Dean I had to save you too, but to save you because you were as much my responsibility as your brother. Even my rebellion. The brainwashing, as you call it, didn’t last long. The walls started falling when I set you free, when I betrayed Anna. The final crumbling was that voicemail. That was what drove me to rebel.”

“What voicem… wait, the one where Dean called me a freak and told me he was gonna kill me?” Sam asked, once again thrown for a loop.

Castiel shook his head. “The one where _Dean_ said he was sorry for using your father’s words against you and that while he was still pissed, you were still his brother. What you heard, that was Zachariah.”

“You know, I spent days wondering when Dean was going to remember and get around to killing me,” Sam said. “That’s actually part of why I left… I couldn’t deal with hunting, my own guilt, the demon blood fears, and worrying about when Dean was going to turn on me.”

“Once again, I am sorry, Sam,” Castiel said. “I had assumed you and Dean discussed that message at some point, or I would have brought it up. Perhaps things would have gone differently had I done so.”

Sam chuckled. “We should have, I know, but c’mon, Cas. When have Dean and I ever talked about things like sensible human beings?”

“You do have a point,” Castiel had to acknowledge. “There’s something else I’d like to show you, while we have this unusual opportunity. Hold out your hands.” Sam obeyed, and Castiel very carefully settled Sam’s soul into its owner’s hands. “Close your eyes and let your soul do the sensing, until I tell you it’s safe.”

Once again, Sam obeyed, intensely curious about what Castiel was doing. A thump from in front of him caused him to focus. In front of him, where Cas had been kneeling to hold the soul, Sam could “see” what, at first glance, appeared to be a ball of light and feathers. The ball unfurled, stretching upward and outward until it resolved into a very vaguely humanoid form with six wings. Two wings wrapped around the lower part of the body; two others formed a sort of hood over his face – although two eyes gleamed from the shadows. The other pair of wings stretched out, holding the being aloft.

“Well. This is… something of a surprise to me,” the being said. “I knew I was more powerful, but I didn’t realize my form would change to match.”

“Castiel?” Sam asked.

“Yes. When I was brought back, I was given the powers of a seraph,” the angel explained. “I could tell I was… it doesn’t matter. This wasn’t what I intended to show you, but only because I wasn’t expecting it either. I wonder…” The being shimmered, becoming smaller and more defined as humanoid. He retained an etherealness about him, and radiated a sense of power that had Sam wanting to cover his eyes despite knowing that his eyes were closed and his soul could handle this. Otherwise Castiel wouldn’t have risked it. “This is the form I had before, when I was just a regular angel, a soldier. This is what I wanted you to see.” He shimmered again, once again becoming smaller. This time, he streamed into a dark shape on the ground, which Sam recognized with a start as Jimmy Novak.

Once Castiel was fully back in and sitting up, Sam had a question. “What would you have done if Jimmy didn’t let you back in?”

“Jimmy… oh. Yes.” Castiel settled himself. “Jimmy’s body was destroyed by Raphael, when I broke the prophecy to give Dean his chance at stopping you, which freed his soul. When the body was recreated so I could be brought back, neither Jimmy nor I saw any reason for his soul to leave the peace of Heaven to be once again chained to a comet. Given the other options – Claire, or finding another bloodline capable of hosting a Seraph – Jimmy and I both felt that continuing to use his body without him in it was best.” He reached out to take back Sam’s soul.

“Agreed,” Sam said faintly. Now that he’d held it himself, having Castiel holding his soul felt… well, it felt different. In a way that made Sam uncomfortable.

Castiel seemed to sense the discomfort. “This will hurt, again,” he warned. Sam braced himself and nodded as Castiel once again thrust his hand into Sam’s chest, returning the soul to its proper place. “Are you all right?” he asked as he stood and offered Sam a hand up.

Sam accepted it and pulled himself to his feet, but let go of Cas’s hand as soon as possible. “I’m fine, thanks,” he said, avoiding looking at Castiel. He hoped that Castiel hadn’t picked up too much through the contact with his soul.

“Then we should leave,” Castiel said calmly, hand still extended to Sam. “Would you prefer to go to Bobby’s first, or directly to Dean?”

Sam hesitated. “How long has passed up there?”

After a short period of concentration, Castiel said, “About two weeks. A week for Adam. Unlike the rest of Hell, time here seems to flow more slowly than on Earth.”

“Take me to Bobby’s, then,” Sam decided. “I can call Dean from there.”

“As you wish,” Castiel said, touching his hand to Sam’s arm. They arrived deep in the salvage yard, hidden from the house and the main workshop. “Dean is with Lisa and Ben. Adam went back to Wisconsin but has returned here, having realized he can’t return to his old life now. He and Bobby are out at the moment, but should be back shortly.”

“Once again, thank you, Castiel,” Sam said. “For coming for me, for what you showed me. Even if I still don’t get why, thank you.” He turned toward the house and made it a few steps before Cas’s voice called him back.

“Sam. Wait.” Sam turned back, one eyebrow raised. “If you’ll bear with me, there is one more thing I’d like you to see.” Sam nodded cautiously as he walked back to the angel, and then gasped in surprise as Castiel’s wings spread out. Unlike the wings Sam had seen on Castiel’s true forms, which had seemed to be made of light, these looked very solid. They were also covered with glossy black feathers, which had a subtle iridescence that made it difficult for Sam to look away. He could almost feel his hands coming up to touch the wings, and made every effort to keep them still at his sides.

Apparently, Cas could feel Sam’s desire to touch as well, as he drew back just a little. “Sam, before you… for an angel, sharing these wings is a sign of… of trust, intimacy, respect. Perhaps family would be the best term, although it’s not one used that way among angels. Allowing another to touch your wings implies a degree of bonding between the two that is rare, especially when the other is a human.”

Sam had to smile. As rejections went, he couldn’t have asked for a nicer one. “I get it. Don’t…”

“That’s not what I mean, Sam,” Castiel interrupted. “I know you well enough to know that you would want to touch them, and I would not have shown you my wings if I didn’t intend to permit you. I just wanted you to know what it would mean to me to have you do so.” He paused briefly. “Also, I should warn you that it can be a… parts of our wings are rather sensitive, and…”

Sam blinked when he figured out what Cas was trying to say. “Um, wow, yeah, I wouldn’t want to accidentally… any advice?”

“To avoid hurting me, don’t pull out healthy feathers, although if you find any dying or broken ones, it’s good for me, so feel free. For… the other direction… I’m not sure. The most sensitive region is around the oil gland, but beyond that, I don’t know. I promise I will tell you if you do something you should be aware of.”

“Fair enough,” Sam said as he brought a hand up. He stopped short. “Wait, so you’ve never… Dean hasn’t…”

Castiel shrugged. “I’ve had friends before, but no one I considered family in this sense, not until you and Dean. As for Dean, well, he has of course seen my wings. When I raised him from perdition. Not since then. It’s just not something that’s ever come up. It may not ever. I would permit it, but I’m not going to just… offer.”

“You did with me,” Sam said as he finished reaching out and laid a hand on the bony ridge along the top of Castiel’s wing.

“This is different,” Castiel said, watching as Sam slid his hand outward toward the primaries. “I had an opening after showing you your soul and my true forms. It seemed to fit, and we have a bit of time. Also, it’s you.”

Sam had just brought his other hand up to brush over the soft feathers. He gave Castiel an incredulous look. “Yeah, uh, kinda my point. It’s me.”

“Sam…” Cas started. “I don’t know that I can explain this in a way that will make sense to you. The only reservation I had about this is you crossing a line without realizing it and regretting it or being angry when you learned what you had done. With Dean, it’s more… I have more concerns about him.”

“Dean wouldn’t hurt you… and speaking of, broken feather, you asked me to pull those. Just giving you a head’s-up.” Sam very carefully got hold of the feather and pulled it out with a swift, sure jerk. “Okay?”

“I’m fine,” Castiel said. “And I know. He wouldn’t hurt me on purpose, and if he did accidentally and I told him to stop something, he would. Just as you would. I’m not explaining this well.” He lapsed into silence, watching as Sam continued to run his hands over the angel’s wings. “Sam, you’re… hitting a sensitive spot. Good sensitive, not painful sensitive.”

“Sorry!” Sam jerked his hands away. “Sorry, thanks for the warning.”

“Don’t apologize,” Cas said. “I don’t mind, but you should know what you’re doing if you’re going to do that.”

Sam’s eyebrows shot up. “Cas?”

“You won’t do it unless you mean it, I know,” Castiel said. “Or if you had any doubts about consent.” He paused, head tilted. “I think that might be the problem with Dean. Not the consent,” he added hurriedly, “more his general… it doesn’t mean the same thing to him.”

By then, Sam had his hands back on Castiel’s feathers, but this stilled them. “Cas… you… do you want me to?”

There was a long hesitation before Cas finally said, “If you want.”

“That’s not what I asked, Cas. I think I’m getting that you’d let me.” Cas nodded. “But that’s not the same as you wanting me to.” Sam kept his hands absolutely still as he waited for Castiel to answer.

Because of that, he could feel the slight tremor in the wings when Castiel spoke. “Yes, I do, but not out of some sense of… obligation or guilt or some other misguided notion. I don’t believe you would, but…”

“Cas, I…” Sam stopped, thinking back and trying to organize his thoughts. “With the demon blood, we didn’t exactly get off to a good start, did we? But even so you helped me, and this last year… it took me longer than Dean to consider you a friend, but once I came around, I came around hard. I know that with the Apocalypse over you have no reason to hang around us anymore, but I’m not sure I can imagine going back to life without you.”

It brought a smile to the angel’s face. “Friendship is reason enough. If Heaven tries to keep me from you, I will rebel again.”

“That’s good to know,” Sam said, flashing a smile of his own. “I don’t want to have this conversation and, just maybe, get to have what I’ve been dreaming about for months, just to lose you to Heaven.”

“Months?” Castiel said in surprise. “Why didn’t you…”

“Well, for one thing, there was an Apocalypse going on,” Sam said with a chuckle. “You were listening earlier. I thought you hated me. Given that I’ve given you some good cause to, can you blame me? I’m not gonna walk up to some guy I think hates me and say ‘Hey, I’m in love with you, can I kiss you?’”

“Yes, you can,” Castiel said, stepping back close to Sam. “Unless something’s changed, please do. Actually… something has changed, I wouldn’t have said yes before Jimmy was freed.”

Sam laughed. “Knowing that just makes me want to kiss you that much more. So you know I mean it. What about you? Because I don’t want it if it’s not…”

“It is. I’m like you. I won’t do things I don’t mean. I was going to storm the Cage so I didn’t have to live in a world without you in it.” He tilted his head again. “Adam and Bobby will arrive soon, so…”

Sam was quick on the uptake. One hand went to the angel’s face while the other sought out the spot that had triggered the conversation, and he bent his head to press his lips to Castiel’s.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments always welcomed!


End file.
